It’s okay to not be okay

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Every single person that has lost a loved one will know all too well the feeling of pain it can cause. I cannot help but feel though that there has been some sort of precedence set when it comes to dealing with that pain. Everyone will have their own way of dealing with such trauma, and that is perfectly ok, so long as that it is natural to them.

Who decided that you shouldn’t sit in your pyjamas all day crying and eating chocolate? Who decided that when someone asks how you are, that you should just reply ‘I am okay’ when you do not feel okay at all? Who decided that you should go straight back to work to help take your mind off things whilst putting on a brave face? I am not saying you shouldn’t, but you also shouldn’t feel obligated to.

I do not understand where this stigma of acting okay has come from. It does not make you inferior to anyone else because you simply expressed how you truly felt. Nobody should judge you for admitting that you just want to cry all the time, or that you struggled to get out of bed this morning. Nobody should judge you for explaining how you REALLY feel. Speak up to friends, family, colleagues if you need a bit of extra help or support, they will care, and you are not admitting failure in any way shape or form.

Of course, life goes on, but having time to deal with that pain in your own way is key to the grieving process. The emotions that overcome you can make you feel exhausted, angry, sad among many others. It is important that you go through the process in a way that you truly feel you need to, not just in a way that you believe is expected of you. It’s okay to not be okay.

4 comments on “It’s okay to not be okay

  • I know the feeling well my mum only gone 2 years this week coming but dad 6 years and my best friend 5. Doesn’t get any easier does it.
    Surrounding yourself with happy people and family does help a bit x

    Reply
  • Yes, it’s sad when you feel like you almost need permission to not be ok.
    There are no time limits on grief, and there shouldn’t be.
    Also, taking a day at a time lessens the pressure and helps too.
    I find music helps,..
    Good luck on your journey, your Loved one is walking it with you.

    Reply
  • Sometimes, it is your workplace which, contrary to the Health and Safety Act, decides that being OK is the only professional way to be and that suicide does not need to be mentioned; that affected people do not need to be looked after, and even, that colleagues do not need to have a space to grieve also. THAT is NOT OK.

    To complain means to be targeted, bullied, ostracised and blacklisted.

    Reply

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