(26 April 1992 - 28 February 2012)
  • I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE MY BABY GIRL IS REALLY GONE

    To my darling baby girl Riarne,


    Words cannot describe how very much I miss you bubba girl. It seems that I miss you more and more every day. I sleep with your pillow and the tee shirt you were wearing when you left us and as the days go by they smell less and less like you. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow and I still can't accept that you are gone from our day to day lives. You are certainly in our hearts, so you will never be truly gone, but I just can't believe that I will never hug you again, never sing along to songs in the car with you again, never hear your laugh again, never again see that beautiful smile of yours except for in all the photos I can't stop looking at. Life does go on, but I can't seem to, I've got this huge hole in my heart and nothing in the world is right anymore, in fact, everything is wrong because you aren't here with me anymore. The years we have spent in hospital together brought us so close, that I just feel empty without you. I'm told that it's normal to feel this way, I'm told I will cope better as time goes by, I'm told that I will smile and enjoy life again but I don't want that, I just want you back, well and healthy and doing all the things a 19 year old should be doing. You deserved so much more joy in your life, I know the last few years were largely miserable for you, but they were also when we saw you shine as a person, being so much wiser than your years. What you endured would be unbearable for most people, yet you refused to let it make you bitter - you just did what you had to do and you never complained about it or burdened your friends with the real truth of what you were going through, not wanting them to treat you any differently just because you were sick. Despite Cancer, you matured and blossomed into such a beautifully natured and beautiful girl inside and out, I am so very proud of you and to be your mum, and I so badly want to tell you that again and whisper I love you in your ear as we hug again..... My heart is so broken my baby, please help me put it back together so I can remember the good times we shared and not just the last week which is the freshest memory I have at the moment, and it makes me miserable.


    all my love, kisses and hugs, forever and always, Mum xoxoxo

    Uploaded by Tania Wood
    • 10 years ago
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